1a. Big Idea: To expose the evils and true intentions, in this case, systematic oppression in the US, using one of its symbols of freedom and equality
The method most prevalent in “The White House” is the use of figurative language. The poem begins with “your door is shut against my tightened face.” This is a metaphor for how America turns its back on the poet, who is black. It is meant to represent the exclusion of minorities in the US at the time. The poem continues with McKay stating “I am sharp as steel with discontent” to express her anger. Simile is employed here for the poet to show his disapproval being as sharp as steel. This shows how he views his anger almost like a weapon. McKay finishes with “against the potent poison of your hate” to show his resolve yet bitterness towards this discrimination. The potent poison is alliteration and is used to emphasize these words. It compares systematic oppression of blacks to a poison, a substance that causes illness and death. Figurative language is used to express Claude McKay’s thoughts into simpler terms with the shut door and potent poison representing discrimination and his anger being depicted as a weapon used to fight back against it.
Considering explaining your evidence in a less direct yet flowing manner. Refrain from using "this is.. this means.." Additionally, increase the diversity of your syntax (sentence length in particular). Your links are good as well as your choice of evidence. Great methods chosen as well.
The bulk of this PEEEEEEL is great, good language and vicabvocabulary, great elabelaboration and properly integrated quotes. The only thing i can really criticize is at the end when talking about "potent poison" as alliteration, you should not included this or explained differently. Alliteration isn't figurative language the same way anaphora isn't either, its just structure. You could use this same evidence and instead speak about how the hatred and discrimination itself is the poison being thrown in their face, it is so potent it poisons societysociety itself with it's foul stench. This would be metaphor
Your paragraph is very well written, but vary in sentence structure. Other than that, you’re golden! :)
This peel is a solid peel. I think it is AICE Cambridge material because of how it is structured and the level of vocabulary. You could’ve added a new evidence just to fluff it
Very good peel. integrated quotes while providing evidence and elaboration.
Everything is good but the main idea could as well use some flow and a bit more detail.
The poet Claude McKay exemplifies the issues residing in society where people of color are being oppressed and disregarded.
Throughout the poem, there are various symbols with great significance that aid in the strength of the poet’s message. The title, “The White House,” is a main symbol of power representing the U.S government and lawmakers. McKay gives meaning to the color white where he is referring to the white people that run the country that inhabit the house. He also holds a negative attitude towards the White House symbolizing how the black community is not regarded as a part of the American society, as well as not having a say in how the country should be run. McKay uses “the pavement slabs [that] burn loose beneath [his] feet” to show that he will not fight fire with fire, but rather fight the fire with peace. The pavement slabs represent the peace protests that the black community took a part of to handle the oppression and hatred towards them. The pavement adds to the emphasis of not following Hammurabi’s code and instead being the bigger person morality-wise. Additionally, the “shattered door of glass” the poet mentions in line eight embodies the barrier standing between people of color and justice. The door is made of glass, meaning one can see through it. However, it is ironic that the door is shuttered, showing that they are left out of society with no way to look or go inside. McKay convey’s the hate and injustice that is the epitome of the American government in contrast with the tranquility he is trying to maintain, encouraging others to do the same.
Try to think about the audience McKay had in mind when writing the sonnet, and how they would feel and react towards the situation of racism having read it. Concentrate on the "why" when elaborating on the symbolism displayed throughout the poem. Your evaluation of the symbols and their relation to racism is very good. :)
nicely written, however, more elaboration on the syntax would seal the deal. Great evidence on the links but diversity on the sentence structure also would boost the points.
The poet, McKay, expresses the injustice of America by symbolizing "The White House" towards blacks and how they must be the bigger person by remaining peaceful.
In order for McKay to achieve the goal of expressing injustice in America, he utilizes symbols to metaphorically demonstrate this idea. The title, "The White House" itself symbolizes the political segregation occurring in this time period of American society. He emphasizes this, due to the fact that the White House is known to be a sign of freedom and democracy. It is supposed to keep everyone in the country satisfied, yet the only people who are satisfied with this form of government is the whites. He pushes negative diction around this phrase to show how the blacks are being neglected in a place where they are supposed to be free. He also uses the "door of glass" to symbolize a fragile system of government. Due to all the political crises happening in this specific time frame, the glass door paints the picture that America is on its peak to shatter and cause a massive destruction in its country. On the other hand, he states that "the pavement slabs burn loose beneath feet" to indicate how the fight for segregation must not be fought by mimicking the actions of the whites, but by being peaceful. The pavement slabs paint the image of peace and how the black community must not give in with violence, but rather continue to strive towards peaceful protest in the hopes to finally achieve their freedom. The poet effectively pursues symbols in his sonnet to showcase the injustice that is going on in American society during this era.
Great job on the elaboration! I think your method sentence could have been worded differently to make it clearer. You show understanding and are very good at embedding quotes. This is a great long PEEL.
There are some grammatical erros and comma splices, but your thoughts were well organized and had a clear picture of what you were presenting. Make sure to be specific about the time frame you are writing about.
You have a great elaboration however this peel seems to lack evidence . If you could put in more evidence it would become an AICE Cambridge material peel
The way you embedded quotes is really good and the elaboration is excellent!
December 15th, 2018
Big Idea: The author of “Sonnet 43” expresses her never-ending and infinite love for her husband through the use of countless measures.
Peel: All throughout “Sonnet 43,” Browning uses figurative language as a way to convey and capture her endless love for her husband. Browning uses irony when stating, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways;” however, the “ways” in which Browning loves her husband are countless. For example, Browning loves her husband are countless states, “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, this statement goes to show just how vast and extreme Browning describes her love for her husband. Browning once again uses countless measures to depict her love for her husband when mentioning, “by sun and candle-light.” This depiction of her love displays that Browning’s love for her husband is present through night and day, it is never laid to rest, her love for him is always lit and can never be melted away.
sorry wrong one my bad
Laws are discriminating and excluding black citizens from society but they must unite and find the strength and wisdom to rise above.
In the poem "The White House," the author is a Jamaican man who feels as though he and other black citizens are not being regarded as equal; as a matter of fact, he writes these feelings down in his poem and uses aggressive diction to emphasize his feelings of anger. Claude Mckay believes that laws are not allowing for him to be represented equally and he even states that he is viewed as a "chafing savage, down the decent street." The use of the words "savage" and "decent" in the same sentence show that the author is trying to portray that he is being viewed as an animal in a place where people of higher standards are expected to be. He includes these words with strong connotations, both negative and positive, as opposed to words that are less strong to place an emphasis on his feelings. Mckay also conveys that he feels anger in his "wrathful bosom sore and raw" which once again shows that he is boiling up as a result of having to contain his fury. He uses the word "wrathful" which implies aggression as a way of showing that the subject of his unequal representation invokes anger. The words are used as a way to make sure that his purpose for writing the poem, which is to bring awareness to discrimination, is being shown. Ultimately, Claude Mckay utilizes aggressive diction as a method of emphasizing his powerful negative feelings towards the way that he and other black citizens are being treated unfairly under the law.
Try to focus your first sentence on the method and how it is contributing to his why not so much background information on the poet. Also try to avoid the word "use/d" as it can sound repetitive and maybe replace it with words such as employs or portrays.I love the link! Overall good peel!
Overall good peel but it needs some fixing on some of the words being used. Some are being too repetitive so just try to find some good synonyms but overall good job!
Make sure to state the method that is be8ng used in your PEEL. What method are you using?
Good peel, however it was a bit extensive on the description instead of stating the actual method. The method itself was a bit unclear and hard to identify.
The words use and used are very redundant, please try and find some other synonyms like: exemplify, embody, etc. Your elaborations are great and the usage of quotes is done well! Your transitional phrases are good as well. Only other advice I would give is to state your method in the first sentence and a bit more clearly.
There is some repetition of some of the words such as "used." Maybe try mentioning the method Mckay uses in the poem more clearly. Good peel though!
Have very good points and examples, however the first sentence should primarily be focused on just stating your point rather than providing background info. Also just change a bit of the words to be less repetitive, overall very good though.
Great work! I would advise you to just work on maintaining your point throughout the entire peel. I would also say to try and explore different word choices !
Good PEEL although try to stick with your method throughout the writing. Drifting away from it completely changed the idea and may confuse some people.
Claude McKay employs figurative language to show the unjust discrimination black individuals must endure due to America’s unfair laws. McKay intentionally titles the sonnet “The White House” to foreshadow the extended metaphor referring to lawmakers such as the president and other government officials. The title allows the readers to understand that McKay is directly addressing the ignorance of lawmakers along with trying to bring awareness to the ongoing issue of discrimination. Embedding the simile “I am sharp as steel with discontent” after mentioning that the White House’s door is “shut against [his] face,” McKay allows the readers to visualize and understand the excruciating pain that comes from withstanding cruel treatment from government officials. He compares himself to a material as strong as steel as opposed to a weaker one to display the powerful urge to make a change and to prove all law officials that black individuals will continue to fight for the equality they deserve. This shows that not only does McKay want to represent all black citizens but will do anything to stop this injustice. In retrospect, Claude McKay’s use of figurative language in this particular sonnet provides an insight on those who are directly responsible for the way in which he and other black citizens are being misrepresented.
Great use of literary method and embedding of evidence. As for your analyzing, when you said “...to foreshadow the extended metaphor referring to lawmakers...” the sentence feels incomplete and not clearly stating your point. If you were to put something along the lines of the unjust laws of equality or actions of political corruptness, then you would be able to portray politics as the villain- much like the poet. Try to stop using the word “black”, “discrimination”, and “political officials” over and over throughout your paragraph. Use “African American”, “colored society”, “legislative counsel”, “racial prejudice”, etc.
Great peel but like 6AR said, it would be better if you were to make your evidence is more complete so it can relate to your big idea better.
You're PEEEEL is well structured and greatly done :) the 3rd to last sentence in the beginning of it just felt out of place since you're evidence was based of another statement it wasn't connecting as well as your second to last sentence was.
The author of this poem, The White House, uses symbolism in order to the racism and unfairness towards black people in the United States. McKay, uses the very title of the poem The White House as one of these symbols. The White House represents America; as well as, if taken into the literal definition it can be portrayed as the house of white people, or in this case the country of white people. McKay also mentions that “your door is shit against my tightened face.” The door is a symbol of the opportunities that are robbed from African Americans and they face it with indignation. This door also represent a door to succes that they are denied access through. The author utilizes symbolism throughout the poem was to show the adversity and discrimination African Americans endure in the United States.
Hi! I think your PEEEEL could use a bit more elaboration. Think of why and how the author used symbolism. Also, I noticed that there are some grammatical errors in your PEEEEL. Remember that "The White House" goes in quotations because it is a poem, I see that you have a good understanding of the poem, but I think you can elaborate a bit more. Other than that, you're good
I liked your big idea and you had great elaboration. However, you only included one piece of evidence. There was more text in the poem that related to symbolism.
Hi! First thing I noticed, was that there were a few grammatical errors in your writing (next time just make sure you proofread!). Within the poem, there were other symbols used such as the slabs of pavement or his bosom, that could’ve strengthened your writing a bit more. Overall, your point was good, however, I’d tweak the elaboration a bit and put more emphasis on how the country was catered towards white people over people of color during this time. Good job!
The PEEEEL contains a few grammatical errors, such as punctuation and the tense of some verbs, and some parts need a little bit more elaboration. Overall, the point is directly mentioned and is linked effectively by the last sentence, and the evidence is well stated.
I like your writing however you could included a bit more evidence and elaboration to bring it all together. Thinking of why the author uses this method would make it easier when writing. You have some grammatical errors but other than that you showed a clear understanding of the poem
Nice wording, good understanding of the poem. Brush up on grammar and conventions and be sure to carefully reread and edit! Great job otherwise.
The poet shows a major issue in society where people of color are being excluded and socially defamed
In the sonnet “The White House”, there were multiple styles and language displayed throughout. Claude Mckay wrote this sonnet in the early 1900s where racism was a rampant issue in society. McKay made sure the reader was aware by his display of symbolism. The “White House” in the sonnet it was used as a play on words as McKay made it seem as if whites were protected in the white house. In the very beginning of the sonnet, Mckay says “your door is shut against my tightened face”. this sentence gives the reader a sense of unjust treatment as this was coming from a black man who is being denied for his skin color. It is clear that McKay let out his emotions into this sentence as he vividly described his emotional thoughts.
You should focus on one method and find more evidence/elaborations. The big idea matches but still missing details.
Great PEEEL. Although, you should add more evidence and elaboration in order to better support your method.
1A The main idea of "The White House" is the exclusion of black americans in that specific time period in which it was written.
Claude Mckays' "The White House" expressed symbolism that represents the segregation and unfairness towards African-Americans. The seperation is well defined by having a "door shut against your tightened face". This could represent the idea of missed opportunities since it is said that open doors equals open oppurtinities but in this case this door was shut closed on the individual. This as well could mean the seperation of blacks from other parties, the sudden segregation between the two without hesitation or second thought about the individuals reaction. Another example of symbolism must be when the writer compared holding back his anger to a supernatural ability. He reveals the amount of rage he holds when he exclaims "And fiind it in my superhuman power, To hold me to the letter of your law!" is his way to define his anger towards injustice. He indicates this as a way to say that holding in his anger is a complez situation specially when it came to law, The unfairness towards blacks has angered him to the point where the writer, Claude McKay, no longer wants to follow the law but, doesn't let his anger violate his calm and collected state when he includes that he must keep his heart "Involate" by the hate he has towards the law. He used symbolism to metaphorically define the emotions and the inequithy throughout his written poem surrounding the subject of segregation and injustice.
Hey, great peel overall. Elaboration good too, except that it focused more on describing the quote instead of describing the why. I also managed to find some misspelling like "complez" and others possible within the quotes.
Make sure to keep it present tense. Don't use words like expressed. Also, conjunctions could use some work. For example, I don't think "Inviolate" is capitalized towards the end and remember your FANBOYS. Other than that the elaboration and examples were pretty good and showed understanding and knowledge, but I found the last couple sentence difficult to read because of the grammar and misspellings.
1A The main idea of "The White House" is the exclusion of black americans in that specific time period in which it was written.
Claude Mckays' "The White House" expressed symbolism that represents the segregation and unfairness towards African-Americans. The seperation is well defined by having a "door shut against your tightened face". This could represent the idea of missed opportunities since it is said that open doors equals open oppurtinities but in this case this door was shut closed on the individual. This as well could mean the seperation of blacks from other parties, the sudden segregation between the two without hesitation or second thought about the individuals reaction. Another example of symbolism must be when the writer compared holding back his anger to a supernatural ability. He reveals the amount of rage he holds when he exclaims "And fiind it in my superhuman power, To hold me to the letter of your law!" is his way to define his anger towards injustice. He indicates this as a way to say that holding in his anger is a complez situation specially when it came to law, The unfairness towards blacks has angered him to the point where the writer, Claude McKay, no longer wants to follow the law but, doesn't let his anger violate his calm and collected state when he includes that he must keep his heart "Involate" by the hate he has towards the law. He used symbolism to metaphorically define the emotions and the
sorry posted it twice by accident
I feel as if your big idea should not begin with "the main idea is..", i feel you can do better. Other than that examples and elaboration look good.
You're overall PEEEEEEL is constructively well written. But, in terms of stating who the audience is, remember to not use "African Americans" use the term "blacks" because in this poem the poet uses blacks in order to influence his audience globally :)
I think there should be a P oint sentence to introduce the start of the peel rather than jumping into the first method. I also think your transitions could be worked on to help the peel slow a little better.
The White House by Claude McKay is a poem that represents oppression toward black people brought upon by society through the method - symbolism. First of all, the title "The White House" already points toward a national building filled with white people who rule the government. Therefore, since the White House represents a whole nation, it implies the United States was dominant over the blacks. In addition, McKay writes "your door is shut against my tightened face." The door in this case is the White House door, shut against the blacks' freedom and opportunity to be equal to their country. Lastly, McKay expresses "where boldly shines your shuttered door of glass," adding on to the previous line. The glass door symbolizes a clear view of the privileges whites attain, but blacks cannot experience the same things. McKay's poem contains symbolism of the struggles blacks were forced to endure.
Elaboration could be longer. Transitional phrases are good. The title should be in quotes since it is a poem. Link could have been introduced and been related to the topic better. States the purpose of the method of symbolism well.
“The White House” is where the unjust laws against blacks are made. America was built for the benefits of white citizens. “The White House” is referred as a place where whites feel safe.
The writer employed plenty of symbolism in the poem. On the first line, the Mckay wrote, “Your door is shut against my tightened face.” The shutting of the door represented the opportunities taken away from black people. They never had a fair shot. Also, a “chafing savage’ meant that white people saw themselves as superior to black people and they were barbaric. This description also revealed the hatred towards whites because African-Americans were inferior to them. On the last line, the Mckay wrote, “Against the potent poison of your hate.” “Potent poison” was an alliteration conveying that black people were being harmed in every way. For example, physically, they were lynched and set on fire, politically, they had no rights, and socially, they were segregated. So, this relates to the big idea that black people were treated unfairly because back then, they were always known as slaves which means they were always inferior.
Good job, but it what is the main focus, better said the term you are focusing on? Other than that, Good peels r!:)
The method you were focusing on could have been stated better, rather than being that blunt and the evidence could be integrated into the PEEL a bit better but the elaboration was spot on and was nicely tied into the big idea.
I do not think the author intended some of these things as you are interpreting it. For example “chafing savage" doesn't necessarily mean that white people saw them as barbaric. Also actually explicitly saying that it's your big idea is kinda a bad idea. Other than that, good job. :)
When writing an analysis, avoid having simple sentences that could have been added to another one. "They never had a fair shot" seems out of place and stunts the flow of your PEEL. Try and use transitions within your writing so each sentence flows into each other rather than feeling like separate products. Vary your sentence structure and integrate your evidence, and your writing will be much stronger for it! Also, avoid using the phrase big idea within the actual PEEL, and in this case just say Black, not African-American as McKay is Jamacian, not African-American.
Visual imagery is employed throughout this sonnet to exemplify the oppression towards black people conducted by the general public. Mckay states that “Your door is shut against my tightened face”, which can show how people of color were segregated and excluded from doing normal things that the rest of society was free to accomplish. By making the readers visualize a shut door, the author is able to evoke certain emotions that’ll make the readers think about how discrimination was a big issue. The author refers to himself as “a chafing savage, down the decent street” to show the readers how people of color were potrayed by white people that believed they were the superior race throughout this time in history. Through visual imagery, Mckay was able to give readers a better knowledge and understanding of the amount of disrespect and hatred, black people were faced with due to unjust laws made by the government, everyday.
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